Where were you at in your music career when you had your first child? Was there much discussion about how that life choice would affect your career within the music/entertainment industry?
I was an amateur who had played a few open mic nights. When I thought about what dreams I may have to give up to become a mom, playing in a band was on that list. Ironically, I met my bandmate Dusty in prenatal class- so parenthood helped me realize my dream to play in a band.
As a working parent in the music industry, what are some of the biggest challenges you face or have faced?
We’re an all mom band. 2/4 are 100% single moms. 3/4 of us and our kids are neurodivergent. Finding childcare for 5 kids is difficult and expensive. A 2hr practice is interrupted almost constantly- someone wants a snack, someone needs their butt wiped, someone slipped and banged their head and they are crying, someone pulled the dogs tail. After shows you can’t hang out for a drink, you’ve got to rush home to spell off the 14 year old sitter. Going on tour is costly & cumbersome- the four of us don’t fit in one van or hotel room- we travel with our 5 littles and a brave childcare provider or two.
What is one change (big or small) within the industry that could make a positive impact for working parents?
A framework around ‘tour nannies’ including tour specific training for qualified caregivers who may not be familiar with that world, but who are interested in supporting music industry parents who tour and want their children to travel with them. Building a tour nanny directory.
How do you find support and community with other working parents in or out of the music industry?
As a band we really show up for one another. Had dental work and need someone to pick you up? We got you. Babysitter fall through and need an emergency substitute? We got you. Moving and need a pick up truck? We got you.
We have built bands specifically around being moms so that we all understand the demands of parenting small children, and the uncertainty that comes with that in terms of practices and
performances.
We also get to enjoy the benefits of our children growing together, and being around/participating in music often. This translates, too, to performing for other children and parents – who tend to enjoy our message of ‘music is for everyone’ and we find it important to have children, and other moms, see moms playing music together.
Certainly, from the community – we often say ‘do you know what it costs in child care to get 3 or 4 moms out here? Buy our merch!’ and the community will often buy merch and throw an extra few dollars our way happily. We are very grateful to have the opportunity to play music together, being mom’s of small children. We may not always be able to, as children remain our biggest priority. We tend to build our own villages of family and friends and rely on those relations for childcare where our children are not able to be by our sides for performances in bars, or while on-stage at festivals, etc.
What’s one specific example of an organization/venue/company doing something great to help support working parents?
We have seen some festivals Coombs Bluegrass and Arts on the Fly, host us and our families at no extra charge, to some degree, perhaps in free camping & passes for family but not necessarily
meals.
What could a music event (festival, conference, etc.), do or provide to make it easier for you to participate?
Pay moms more! Close the gender pay gap. Festivals please offer childcare for performers on site. Please be generous with free passes & meal vouchers for our kids and childcare providers. Prioritize billets for families. Offer travel grants to women travelling with kids.
Can you shout out another music mama doing great things?
Dusty Pines!
